My emotional being has been in full swing this past year with my upcoming divorce, threat of losing my home and my job. For months the conflict and inner turmoil kept me at a near standstill. Time took it’s time to wake me up. I became close friends with my anti-anxiety medication just to be able to breathe and take one minute at a time, one day at a time, until gradually the pills weren’t needed anymore. It is true that in conflict comes self-discovery, and through time, all heals if we listen to inner selves.
Today I look at this past year as a time of self-recognition. Time and I have now become close friends. Time has given me healing in my heart and soul. It has afforded me the means to strip down my ego and start again. My pain body doesn’t hurt so much anymore. I’m feeling lighter in so many areas in my life.Time has shown me the truth about myself.
My truth is that I constructed my own pain by ignoring my inner-self while I was in all the conflict. I didn’t listen to what the Universe was trying to tell me. Instead, I held on to a marriage that was filled such conflict and hurt from past experiences and pain. We didn’t have the tools to fix us, and we both hung on thinking that life would change us back to where we were. Unable to find “us” again, time found me again.
I became stronger in knowing me. Whoever thought that I could be my own supporter and cheerleader. I am proud of myself for the first time in years that I have brought my company back to making money, and that I have regained my house back. I have a job and a home I love, but it didn’t come from sitting back waiting for the universe to come to me with solutions. It came from action, not inaction or ego.
Writing again is now a joy, not a hardship. Meeting new friends in my writing group and feeling creative again as the words flow on the pages, is freeing, so empowering. Time is my friend.Without the time and it’s medicine to heal, my writing would still be in the file cabinet – waiting for me to take some action.
As we all go through our lives, conflict comes like a bomb if we let it. It will tear apart what we know and love. It will shake us up and rip out our hearts. Conflict is a necessary tool the universe uses on us to take action, make changes in our lives and show us that there is a better way, a better life, if we pay attention and take action. No one can move while stuck in the mud. Kick that conflict of mud so you can move to your better self.